People Pleasing

Last week on the plane ride back home from Notre Dame with my team I was resting and all of a sudden the first few lines of this popped in my head.  I quickly got out my journal and wrote them down and just today finished it up.

The topic of this is something I have struggled with and continue to seek the Lord about to find discernment, comfort and satisfaction.  Discernment for situations in where I am living to please others over God so much so that I am ignoring the prompting of the Holy Spirit.  Comfort in the times when I perhaps have to let someone down and rest in the fact that the Lord loves me enough--enough to discipline me if I did wrong, and enough to sustain me through if it causes tension or the ending of a relationship.  Satisfaction for seeking, searching, desiring and living out the life He has already set before me.

Not being who I am, but who others want me to be.

Blind to the prison that was surrounding me.

Ignoring my own opinions and thoughts,

buying into the one's from people who are also lost.

I was a chameleon, blending with others to fit in,

tossing away the privilege of being comfortable in my skin.

Whoever people thought I was or how I came off

was a cover and disguise until I realized the power of the cross.

Never confident in me, self-esteem at zero

I was idolizing others, placing them as hero-

as ruler of my heart, my body, my mind.

You'd be hard pressed to find any part of me as mine.

It was a battle I fought, one I am coming to still realize

Not seeing myself through the world, but through His compassionate eyes.

It is not a one time deal, it's a stretched out journey.

Praise God for that, pushing me to seek Him

and with discipline and love He will guide me.

Now Hillsong's lyrics pierce my heart with grace

"Crucified to set me free, 

now I live to bring Him praise"

No longer bound by the opinions of others

just answering: "what does He think of me?"

It's humbling to realize when I gave myself up; there I was found

picked up, dusted off and placed on solid ground

My feet were steadied as I walked along

Joyfully singing--praise in a new song [Ps.40]

Passion 2013

This is something I wrote after my time spent at Passion over Christmas break.  It goes through how the Lord revealed Himself to me in that time and also about the issue of modern day slavery in today's world.  27 million slaves are currently in the world, more than any other time in history.  To help promote and end slavery you can go to enditmovement.com and sign the pledge to end slavery! 

Lord God

Open my eyes to all that You are.

I tend to limit You, confined to a jar.

But You are limitless; both vast and intricate.

Displayed in the grandest of ways

But also oh so delicate.

In the quiet of my time spent with You in the morning

My whole body is relaxed, filled with the chills of your calming.

In a dome maxed out with Your sons and daughters

My whole body pulses, unable to contain the steady stream of living water.

When I pray for clarity “all of a sudden” there You are

With me shamefully realizing I never had to look far:

Reunions with friends from all life’s stages.

The miracles I experienced with them, I could write on tons of pages

A friend’s comfort at just the right time

Your light bursts through her and continues to shine

A man’s uninhibited worship and praise

I could sense Your love; constant for him through all days

The warm smile from an unknown face

Displayed for the world, no matter the color or race

Spontaneous worship with “strangers” passing through

Realizing they are not strangers, but Your children too

Uncontrollable laughter; uncontrollable tears

Each telling a story of many years.

The experience of the presence of angels and then prompted to worship

“The God of angel armies is always by my side” is what was first said

There is no such thing as coincidence; only God’s divine plan

I’ve been struggling trusting financially, but praying I can

You show up in two extra breakfast passes and paying for the parking of our van

You are in a friends sweet tears of guilt as they confess

You are there as those tears turn to relief; freed by forgiveness

You are there in the healing of a precious friend

“laughter is the best medicine” right to the end

You are there smiling down when conversing with someone new

Each sharing of the marvelous things that You do.

You are there in the moments of realization of sharing the same Spirit

How else could we explain all the moments of agreement?

You are there in each of the speakers, the light shining in their eyes

As they proclaim God’s truths and cover up Satan’s lies

You are in each innocent face, journey, and story

Captured in slavery but freed through Your glory

You are in each person present, captivated in disgust

27 million slaves? We must do something, rise up.

Enditmovement.com – sign the pledge, promote the change

It’s necessary for freedom, give these beautiful people some range

To share their voice in the light when their lost in the dark

Wear red “X’s” on April 9^th, display the mark

To promote awareness on this overlooked issue

God wants slavery to end, let’s help Him re-issue

Freedom, life and joy to these sweet individuals

It may seem small, but awareness and prayers are critical

Ultimately trusting in our Savior and Lord

To bring this dream to reality, doing immeasurably more.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - Galatians 5:1