Happy Birthday, Mom!

It was my sweet, wonderful mother's birthday the other day on March 4 and I wanted to write her a little something to let her know how special she is.  Happy Birthday Mommy!

[MOM]

Calling for her in the middle of the night

In retrospect, the reasoning was way more than a scare, a bump in the night.

Comfort surrounded her like a cloud and drew me in,

any concern on my mind dissipated in her soothing voice and patient grin.

I loved to be around her, letting her love and kindness sink in.

Walking on this road of life, I was never cold and never hungry

gentle hugs and endless advice is what filled me and warmed me.

My backbone, my advisor, my coach and my friend.

Loving me past all my faults, right to the end.

Humbling herself to provide for the needs of 5 kids

pushing her past her patience but she still chooses to stay calm through all things.

Juggling schedules, making dinners, wiping tears

loving us each individually and uniquely all these years.

As I have grown, I value her more and more

cherishing her a best friend, laughing until we are sore.

I am thankful to converse with her throughout the week

Guiding me still, as the next step in life I seek

I pray she feels loved from me as much as I do from her

Although nothing I do could ever truly repay her

for offering security, warmth, guidance, discipline and friendship

My longest friend standing: 22 years and through trials of hardship

I love you so much, Mommy and am blessed to call you that

I pray to be as patient and loving with my children and take on the role of "white hat"

I hope you feel loved on this day and all others

I am thankful to the Lord for making you my mother.

People Pleasing

Last week on the plane ride back home from Notre Dame with my team I was resting and all of a sudden the first few lines of this popped in my head.  I quickly got out my journal and wrote them down and just today finished it up.

The topic of this is something I have struggled with and continue to seek the Lord about to find discernment, comfort and satisfaction.  Discernment for situations in where I am living to please others over God so much so that I am ignoring the prompting of the Holy Spirit.  Comfort in the times when I perhaps have to let someone down and rest in the fact that the Lord loves me enough--enough to discipline me if I did wrong, and enough to sustain me through if it causes tension or the ending of a relationship.  Satisfaction for seeking, searching, desiring and living out the life He has already set before me.

Not being who I am, but who others want me to be.

Blind to the prison that was surrounding me.

Ignoring my own opinions and thoughts,

buying into the one's from people who are also lost.

I was a chameleon, blending with others to fit in,

tossing away the privilege of being comfortable in my skin.

Whoever people thought I was or how I came off

was a cover and disguise until I realized the power of the cross.

Never confident in me, self-esteem at zero

I was idolizing others, placing them as hero-

as ruler of my heart, my body, my mind.

You'd be hard pressed to find any part of me as mine.

It was a battle I fought, one I am coming to still realize

Not seeing myself through the world, but through His compassionate eyes.

It is not a one time deal, it's a stretched out journey.

Praise God for that, pushing me to seek Him

and with discipline and love He will guide me.

Now Hillsong's lyrics pierce my heart with grace

"Crucified to set me free, 

now I live to bring Him praise"

No longer bound by the opinions of others

just answering: "what does He think of me?"

It's humbling to realize when I gave myself up; there I was found

picked up, dusted off and placed on solid ground

My feet were steadied as I walked along

Joyfully singing--praise in a new song [Ps.40]

Passion 2013

This is something I wrote after my time spent at Passion over Christmas break.  It goes through how the Lord revealed Himself to me in that time and also about the issue of modern day slavery in today's world.  27 million slaves are currently in the world, more than any other time in history.  To help promote and end slavery you can go to enditmovement.com and sign the pledge to end slavery! 

Lord God

Open my eyes to all that You are.

I tend to limit You, confined to a jar.

But You are limitless; both vast and intricate.

Displayed in the grandest of ways

But also oh so delicate.

In the quiet of my time spent with You in the morning

My whole body is relaxed, filled with the chills of your calming.

In a dome maxed out with Your sons and daughters

My whole body pulses, unable to contain the steady stream of living water.

When I pray for clarity “all of a sudden” there You are

With me shamefully realizing I never had to look far:

Reunions with friends from all life’s stages.

The miracles I experienced with them, I could write on tons of pages

A friend’s comfort at just the right time

Your light bursts through her and continues to shine

A man’s uninhibited worship and praise

I could sense Your love; constant for him through all days

The warm smile from an unknown face

Displayed for the world, no matter the color or race

Spontaneous worship with “strangers” passing through

Realizing they are not strangers, but Your children too

Uncontrollable laughter; uncontrollable tears

Each telling a story of many years.

The experience of the presence of angels and then prompted to worship

“The God of angel armies is always by my side” is what was first said

There is no such thing as coincidence; only God’s divine plan

I’ve been struggling trusting financially, but praying I can

You show up in two extra breakfast passes and paying for the parking of our van

You are in a friends sweet tears of guilt as they confess

You are there as those tears turn to relief; freed by forgiveness

You are there in the healing of a precious friend

“laughter is the best medicine” right to the end

You are there smiling down when conversing with someone new

Each sharing of the marvelous things that You do.

You are there in the moments of realization of sharing the same Spirit

How else could we explain all the moments of agreement?

You are there in each of the speakers, the light shining in their eyes

As they proclaim God’s truths and cover up Satan’s lies

You are in each innocent face, journey, and story

Captured in slavery but freed through Your glory

You are in each person present, captivated in disgust

27 million slaves? We must do something, rise up.

Enditmovement.com – sign the pledge, promote the change

It’s necessary for freedom, give these beautiful people some range

To share their voice in the light when their lost in the dark

Wear red “X’s” on April 9^th, display the mark

To promote awareness on this overlooked issue

God wants slavery to end, let’s help Him re-issue

Freedom, life and joy to these sweet individuals

It may seem small, but awareness and prayers are critical

Ultimately trusting in our Savior and Lord

To bring this dream to reality, doing immeasurably more.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free.  Stand firm, then and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." - Galatians 5:1 

Veteran's Honor

Soldiers. Warriors. Veterans. Heroes.

It takes a special kind of heart,

to take on that duty, that title.

To follow a call, 

to depart

across the nation; 

to protect the nation

with strength, integrity and passion.

Going to unimaginable lengths...

taking on hardships, trials and death 

so we can live in

Peace.

War - Piece by piece taking our hearts and our loved ones

Satan wanting to gain control of our lives piece by piece.

But the true victory of Christ brings the ultimate peace.

It burdens my heart, the number of fallen soldiers,

seen to the world as just that: "a number"

But Christ sees every soul affected, 

rocks them in His arms when they can't slumber.

He knows every hair on these heroes heads

He feels every physical hurt, absorbs their blood that is shed.

He knows every emotion, fear and hope written on their hearts,

shining a light of hope for them to navigate in the dark.

For God's Word promises in 1 Corinthians 15

"sown in corruption, raised in incorruption"

hope in our Lord supersedes all destruction

"sown in dishonor, raised in glory"

Christ defeating death is the happy end to any story

"sown in weakness, raised in power"

The Lord offers strength and peace, no matter the hour.

"sown a natural body, raised a spiritual body"

Glorious resurrection for us, is the promise from He

The battle behind the battle

Spiritual behind the physical

The understanding of "why?" seems beyond critical

Why heartache?

Why pain?

Why death?

Why loss?

...sometimes we're not granted an answer,

that's why we place hope in the cross.

True victory,

pushing us on, through the loss.

God's Word proclaims:

"Death has been swallowed up in victory"

Knowing this does not mean we don't miss,

but it allows us to smile thinking of our loved ones in pure bliss.

"O Death, where is your victory?

O Death, where is your sting?"

Gone. Evaporated. Forever,

in the power of our King.

Our Veterans, true heroes

leave a legacy way past words.

Their actions have a voice and deserve to be heard.

"So it is with the resurrection of the dead:

Sown in corruption, raise in incorruption;

sown in dishonor, raised in glory;

sown in weakness, raised in power;

sown a natural body, raised a spiritual body."

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ!"

- 1 Corinthians 15: 42-44, 57

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

It was my Daddy's birthday yesterday and I wanted to write him a birthday-lovin' poem :) It is funny because the style of this writing came out sounding a little child-like, but I think that is perfect because that is still how I feel around my Dad--like his little girl :) Happy Birthday, Daddy! I love you!

Gentle.

Is the first word that comes to mind

When I think of you and how you are kind

To everyone; your heart is so sweet

Soft spoken and genuine to all people you meet

Patience.

Is another word to describe your love.

Having me as a daughter called for it beyond and above.

Always supportive, no matter what I had done.

Having you as my daddy? Yup, I definitely won.

Selfless.

Doing all for your family and none for yourself

What you have given us far exceeds wealth

Comfort, love, laughs, safety and strength

When it comes to supporting us, you go to great lengths

Precious.

There is something about you, dad that makes my heart skip.

There’s a spot in my heart carved out for Daddy that I trust you will never rip.

The things you say and encouragement you give hold so much weight.

Spending time with you is like an ideal date.

Funny.

Countless jokes and funny stories

Your humor is witty and quick, like a cool breeze

No matter what you say, it’s just funny because you’re dad.

I could go on and on listing the fun times we’ve had.

Hardworking.

Is a trait instilled in who you are.

Providing and setting an example so we can go far.

Working long hours, fixing everything around.

No where, from you could a complaint be found

Generous.

Not only with your love but also with your time

I pray to possess half of that quality that you have as mine

Always thinking of others and doing favors for them

If I need you for something the only question asked is “when?”

Daddy.

Is how I will describe you last.

It’s my title for you—future, present and past.

Nothing will change, I’m forever your “girlie”

I love you, Dad and thank you for loving me.

Almost Missed

Okay so this has been on my heart to write for a little while now, but it's cool because I know this will speak to someone's heart tonight or else I wouldn't be writing it.

Background story:
At my church's weekly women's Bible study we were talking about how God is a God of miracles, but how sadly we overlook or are blind to the ways in which He is miraculously working in our lives. 

I really felt saddened by this.  "God, please, let me see through Your eyes", I prayed, "help me to see instances where someone needs You and give me the love, discernment and boldness to do so"

Little did I know how amazingly true this prayer would play out the following day.

So the next day after I drop my roommate, Sarah, off on campus, I am pulling back into our apartment complex and see this boy sitting on the curb by our gate's entrance.  My heart is instantly pulled towards him.  As I drive past I feel my heart strings drawing me to him and smile at him as I pass.  He looked so...dejected.  Just terribly sad, and it broke my heart.

Almost instantly I turn back around--not knowing what I am going to do but just compelled to do something.  I pull up and roll down the window "Hey...are you okay?" He gently nodded and gave me an unconvincing thumbs up.  "Are you sure?" is my next question which he follows with another slow nod.

As I drive away, I start talking to myself..."of course he is not okay, Robyn" then I got the sense that the Lord was saying "more, daughter, do more"  I started praying, "Okay God I know you want me to do something for this boy but what should I do?" BINGO! God reminded me I had scripture written out and in the middle console of my car: 

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity"

-Jeremiah 29:11-14

Okay Lord. You want me to give him that scripture.  I fought my flesh thinking "Gosh, he is going to think I am pretty silly driving past him now for a third time" but I felt God pushing gently "If you offer it and he declines, great.  I taught you a lesson in boldness.  If you offer it and he accepts, great.  I spoke to my son."  I was reminded of what my other roommate, Mallory had said, if we are filled with Christ, we should not be afraid to speak out because He alone gives us the ability to do so. 

That was all I needed to grab the piece of paper with Jeremiah 29:11-14 on it, pull my car forward and roll down the window.  "Hey, sorry to come around again but I just wanted to offer you some encouragement", I say as I hand out the piece of paper.

The boy stands as I am speaking reaching his hand out and at one glance instantly starts weeping.  These were tears from deep seeded hurt that only God could speak to, and He did.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you" he kept repeating and he continued to cry.

Wow. I. Almost. Missed. This.

I sat there in awe for a moment.  I asked if I could do anything for him, if he needed to just talk to somebody.  "No, but thank you, thank you, thank you"  I told him I would be praying for him and drove off.

It was now my turn to weep.  I did not even make it back to my apartment building when the tears started pouring out of me.  Tears of sadness for whatever pain this boy was experiencing and going through.  Tears of awe in the sheer awesomeness of God.  Tears of thankfulness in being chosen to be used by God in that moment.

Guys, I did absolutely nothing that day.  God knew what that boy needed to hear.  The Holy Spirit guided me directly to him, so the God of the universe could speak truth and encouragement into his life.  I cannot described to you the feeling of knowing that and the feeling of closeness I had with God in that moment.

How absolutely humbling and heartbreaking it was for me to ask myself, "How many times have I missed blessings like this?"

God gave us the ability everyday to wake up and spend our whole day consumed with the greatness of who He is.  He is a personal God who wants to shower us with love and affection.  He is an intimate God who desires us to be close and guide us through joyful lives.  Are we letting Him?

Bride

Bride.

Does not every woman long to be one?

Desire to be loved, chosen, set aside

for one man to love, to always reside

in his heart.  Seen as beautiful. Cherished. Perfect.

To be sacrificed for and seen as worth it.

For his love to define unconditional,

defy unconditional.

This pull on my heart really seems critical

for completion.

Am I beautiful?

Am I lovely?

My heart's cry is an answer to these questions

My heart screams this--asking for fulfillment

but on the outside I'm quiet: "I'm not good enough"

is the punishment

pressed on my mind, by the world and by Satan.

Twists God's truths right around; suffocating me--caged in.

I'm cornered. Self-doubt and loathing creeps in, sets a trap.

"Whatever, I'm useless..." I guess that's a wrap.

That's it? No, no--haven't you heard

that the bad guy never wins?

That's because the good guy is our

 one. gracious. King. 

Who defeated our sins.  Let's us begin

Again. Anew, as stated in 2 Corinthians 5:17

If anyone is in Christ then surely he's clean

the old passed away, no longer, dead and gone.

The new has arrived, so of course you belong.

Truths from God's Word are like a breath of fresh air.

Give me more please

I need more

My soul needs some repair.

"For your Maker is your husband, the Lord Almighty is His name"

Isaiah 54:5 puts all my worries to shame.

God...is...my...husband?

Whoa.

Let that one sink in.

Goodbye Satan, his doubts and attempts to pin

me down. 

No more, no longer with the lies.

Am I beautiful?

Am I lovely?

Let's take a look through God's eyes.

Song of Solomon 4:1 repeats a resounding YES!

God chose me as His wife;

in a clean, white dress.

I long to be a bride?

I shall look no further then Jesus.

Capturing my heart with His love,

 I'll always be satisfied.

"How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful!"

-Song of Solomon 4:1