Thankful

 So as you all know, God's plans for us and our own plans sometimes line up very differently.  In this case it was in terms of my sleeping schedule :) I thought I was going to get to bed extra early last night and "catch up" on some sleep. 

I was praying to the Lord and thinking back on this time last year and all that has happened and all the ways my life has improved with His guidance that I was so overwhelmed with thanks.  

So instead of sleeping I got up and wrote this.  I really love when something like this happens because I have a total sense that it is just the Lord working through my words because there is no other way to describe the ease in which all these words form together.

Whew.

Deep Breath,

Look back,

The past,

Rewind.

To see how I used to live,

without God.

Crazy.

I was blind

To freedom, opportunity, all the Lords plans for me.

To see how sometimes I acted you could say I didn't even care for me.

Let alone others.

Selfish in my thoughts,

binded by sin,

I thought, "if I was just the best at 'this'", then I would win.

But what's winning on earth

if you loose life in the end?

Overwhelming is the feeling of thanks to my Lord.

Pulled me up by the bootstraps,

gave me a slap,

a reality check

that I very much needed.

If you want to gain life then you can't be conceited.

So I pushed on toward Christ,

I simply proceeded

to pray, 

to ask God to open my eyes.

I was sick and tired of believing the lies.

He showed me His truth and His unending grace.

I was reduced to tears, streaming down my face.

Tears of happiness,

Tears of awe.

To gain what I received I did nothing at all.

Total salvation, eternity I am gifted.

All the burdens of my sin lifted.

He deems me worthy and I ask "how?"

and I hear:

"From a year ago today, just look at you now.

I loved you then and before your existence

the only difference now is your change in resistance."

"Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

-Romans 12:2