Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Heart Surgery

Gently, slowly, they slide down my face
I taste the salt of them before I realize what's happening.
Steady streaming and even, nothing can seem to replace
the tears. Now? Why? I'm not even sad.
I guess with a healing heart there's
always an underlying reason.
Love is a heavy word, filled with endless meaning.
In that word "love", your heart is pulled.
No quick fix.
Your life shifts around.
Do the dance.
Remix.
Life is good.
Life is great.
Nothing needs to be fixed.
People say love is blind
I would say I have to concur.
Sometimes I wish I could rewind
the blur;
of these feelings.
Why me?
What did I do?
Questions flash by as I lay awake.
Entertaining this demon of heartache.
Did I do something wrong?
Did I make a mistake?
People also say,
It's better to have love and lost
than to never love at all.
This, I also agree, even if you fall
into heartbreak
because this allows you to compare
the love God has for you
There's no room to compare
Despite His close heart inspection
Still no fear of rejection.
His love is too grand
it covers every flaw.
His love lifts us up; breaks us free of the law.
It is infinite, eternal, looks past every mishap
Stays strong, pushes us on, fills in for where we lack
Which, is everywhere, completely
if we don't have Christ.
We're a mess on our own
filled with darkness, not light.
I wanted to be loved,
Yet was looking straight past the mark
but, God continued on my heart.
He pulled me out of the dark.
That's why, if you ask if I'm single
I'll say I'm taken by Jesus.
My main man, side dish, plus dessert
that's who He is.
Thank You, Lord for loving me fully, the most.
That's why in Your love, only, is where
I will boast.


"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."
-Psalm 51:17

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Sacrifice

God. 
You are so amazing 
There are actually no words sufficient enough to describe 
Your goodness. 
There perhaps is no better way to 
Describe the sacrifice You made for us then just that: 
The sacrifice You made for us. 
Your Son took on the world's sin. 
For Him to take that on, means 
We take off 
Worry, shame, fear, doubt. 
Your Son soaked in every punch 
Without even a shout. 
It hurts my heart to think of what 
My sin did. 
Then I smile, because it makes me 
Realize You're there. 
If my heart hurts for You then 
In me You reside. 
HA! I giggle out loud now to think 
Of the change inside. 
My heart: hard as stone, 
Cold as ice to the core. 
Ripped it out, crushed it up, 
Pulled out junk--it was sore. 
But I loved it, it made me cling to 
You to restore. 
I never want to leave Your side, 
Give me more 
Of Your knowledge, love, comfort and grace 
Am I silly for asking? 
All I need is to state 
The want, desire and need to know more 
You were there from the beginning 
And even before I was born, even thought of, 
Or a partial existence. 
You know when I'm coming and going 
You straight up wrote the script, this 
Is no news 
My thoughts, challenges, struggles 
They are perfectly placed. 
I am thankful because this means I am graced 
With the blessings of lessons 
Taught by the one true life professor 
Man, I thought I had life but In fact had much lesser. 
Death. Actually. 
Dead man walking is what I dressed in. 
I had thought I had life 
But was blinded by sin, 
Binded by sin, 
Wrapped up, consumed and 
Totally decided to sin. 
And that is just me. 
Count it. 
I. 
Just one. 
Christ died for the world 
Death-zero, Christ-1 
Scratch that. 
Infinity 
Eternal. 
Salvation. 
We shouldn't be able to touch His score on the board 
Or keep up in His race 
And yet once again I state: 
How great is our Lord? 
Gift of life. 
No regrets 
By the blood that was poured.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Tree of Life

Before I start I would like to point out just how cool God is in reminding me to write this blog.

Last night I was talking to my friend, Cam, on skype and in his room he has this cool mural painting of a tree. I was commenting how much I liked it and he was saying how he calls it the tree of life, taking it farther and saying how you can even say its like being at the foot of the cross because Jesus was crucified on a tree.

Enter God's coolness:

Earlier in the week after a particularly hard and hot run I layed down in my front yard when I was done, at the base of this tree that is in our front yard.  I was praying and just laying, talking to God, saying how I wanted to surrender everything daily at the foot of the cross and thinking how cool it was that I was laying by a tree so I could literally surrender the things I struggle with at the foot of "the cross". 

How neat that God placed that similar thought in both mine and Cam's mind and used him to remind me of that! Man oh man do we have a personal God!!

I was listening to the radio in the car the other day and heard one of the talk show people say, "we don't pray to get things from God, we pray to experience that intimate closeness with Him that comes only in that secluded time alone with Him"  I had a verbal response of "mm hmm!!" and really like the picture that painted.  It made sense to me why I felt close to God in that moment under the tree, and any time I spend true, uniterrupted, non-distraction time with the Lord.  His strong desire is for us to desire Him

Today, on my run, I was thinking of the significance of a tree in the Bible.  One of the first stories in the Bible centers around a tree in the garden of Eden.  God forbade Adam and Eve from eating from the tree in the middle of the garden.  "The woman said to the serpent, "We may eat the fruit from the trees in the garden.  But about the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden, God said, 'You must not eat it or touch it, or you will die.'" (Genesis 3:2)  Because Eve was deceived by Satan in the garden, she ate from the tree, resulting in death for God said, "Since man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil, he must not reach out, and also take from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever." (Genesis 3:22)  God is so gracious; however, that He sent His only Son to die on a cross, a tree, for our sins.  The same object that brought us into death is the same object Christ died on to deliver us into life.  A tree.  Takes on a whole heavier meaning now huh?  What are you surrendering today?


"and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed."
 - 1 Peter 2:24

"If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul?"
 - Matthew 16:24-26





Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Working Out

As some of you know, if you know me or have read some of my posts, I run.  Running has been a definite blessing from the Lord, not only by my ability to do so but in what I have gained from running.  Running allows me to worship the Lord and spend time in prayer with Him.  It is where He lays a lot out for me and reveals things to me in certain ways.  This particular blog post is no different.

On any given day, I spend 1-2 hours working out.  I will run, lift weights, do ab workouts, all these different exercises to stay in shape.  I do not even question why I do this and if I am pressed for time or for some reason cannot make time for a workout, I feel like something is missing from my day.  I want to keep my body in shape.  I try to eat right so I can fuel my body right and have energy in order to workout.  The end result is I want to be healthy and selfishly, I want to feel good about how I look.  I work out because I desire something.  I desire to feel good.  So I am intentional about carving out time in my day to do these things.

These thoughts were crossing through my mind the other day while I was running and then God peeked in and was like, "Yeah, Robs, I know you like to spend time with me here and you listen to worship music and all but how much of the time are you really being intentional in spending time with Me." Ding Ding Ding! Lightbulb for Robyn.  I physically workout everyday but what am I doing to spiritually workout?  Is my spirit as in shape as my body?  The humbling answer for me was sadly, no.  Why am I not making time to engage in something that is truly life-saving.  Society preaches on keeping your body healthy and in shape but what good does that do if you are dead on the inside?  The Bible clearly says, "the training of the body has a limited benefit, but godliness is beneficial in every way, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come." -1 Timothy 4:8

I need to make time in my day to get in a workout spiritually, just like I do physically.  I get up at odd hours to go run, so why not get up at even odd-er hours to spend time with the Lord?!  If I am fueling my body with His word then there is no question I will have the energy to do everything else He has set out for me in the day.


How are you spiritually training?