Almost Missed

Okay so this has been on my heart to write for a little while now, but it's cool because I know this will speak to someone's heart tonight or else I wouldn't be writing it.

Background story:
At my church's weekly women's Bible study we were talking about how God is a God of miracles, but how sadly we overlook or are blind to the ways in which He is miraculously working in our lives. 

I really felt saddened by this.  "God, please, let me see through Your eyes", I prayed, "help me to see instances where someone needs You and give me the love, discernment and boldness to do so"

Little did I know how amazingly true this prayer would play out the following day.

So the next day after I drop my roommate, Sarah, off on campus, I am pulling back into our apartment complex and see this boy sitting on the curb by our gate's entrance.  My heart is instantly pulled towards him.  As I drive past I feel my heart strings drawing me to him and smile at him as I pass.  He looked so...dejected.  Just terribly sad, and it broke my heart.

Almost instantly I turn back around--not knowing what I am going to do but just compelled to do something.  I pull up and roll down the window "Hey...are you okay?" He gently nodded and gave me an unconvincing thumbs up.  "Are you sure?" is my next question which he follows with another slow nod.

As I drive away, I start talking to myself..."of course he is not okay, Robyn" then I got the sense that the Lord was saying "more, daughter, do more"  I started praying, "Okay God I know you want me to do something for this boy but what should I do?" BINGO! God reminded me I had scripture written out and in the middle console of my car: 

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity"

-Jeremiah 29:11-14

Okay Lord. You want me to give him that scripture.  I fought my flesh thinking "Gosh, he is going to think I am pretty silly driving past him now for a third time" but I felt God pushing gently "If you offer it and he declines, great.  I taught you a lesson in boldness.  If you offer it and he accepts, great.  I spoke to my son."  I was reminded of what my other roommate, Mallory had said, if we are filled with Christ, we should not be afraid to speak out because He alone gives us the ability to do so. 

That was all I needed to grab the piece of paper with Jeremiah 29:11-14 on it, pull my car forward and roll down the window.  "Hey, sorry to come around again but I just wanted to offer you some encouragement", I say as I hand out the piece of paper.

The boy stands as I am speaking reaching his hand out and at one glance instantly starts weeping.  These were tears from deep seeded hurt that only God could speak to, and He did.  "Thank you, thank you, thank you" he kept repeating and he continued to cry.

Wow. I. Almost. Missed. This.

I sat there in awe for a moment.  I asked if I could do anything for him, if he needed to just talk to somebody.  "No, but thank you, thank you, thank you"  I told him I would be praying for him and drove off.

It was now my turn to weep.  I did not even make it back to my apartment building when the tears started pouring out of me.  Tears of sadness for whatever pain this boy was experiencing and going through.  Tears of awe in the sheer awesomeness of God.  Tears of thankfulness in being chosen to be used by God in that moment.

Guys, I did absolutely nothing that day.  God knew what that boy needed to hear.  The Holy Spirit guided me directly to him, so the God of the universe could speak truth and encouragement into his life.  I cannot described to you the feeling of knowing that and the feeling of closeness I had with God in that moment.

How absolutely humbling and heartbreaking it was for me to ask myself, "How many times have I missed blessings like this?"

God gave us the ability everyday to wake up and spend our whole day consumed with the greatness of who He is.  He is a personal God who wants to shower us with love and affection.  He is an intimate God who desires us to be close and guide us through joyful lives.  Are we letting Him?